Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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