Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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