Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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