just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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