I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
