i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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