I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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