So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
