Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
