Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
