I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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