i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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