he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
