I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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