So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize