I think my vagina is haunted
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
