Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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