problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
