That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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