Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina

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(914): View more from New York

It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.

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(720): View more from Colorado

He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.

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(845): View more from New York

So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(905): View more from Ontario

something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance

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(618): View more from Illinois

Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.

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(616): View more from Michigan

But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.

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(315): View more from New York

I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams

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