im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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