You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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