i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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