She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams