her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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