You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
