The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
