Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
