I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
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I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
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He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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