Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize