maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We have started to decorate penises.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
