I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
