The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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