I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
