i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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