we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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