She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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