you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
