i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Randomize
