You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
