That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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