Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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