my phone needs a breathalizer
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
