Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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