The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
