I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize