Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
