no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
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I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
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Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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