There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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