I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
