yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
