i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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