Porn is love you can see.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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