fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
