I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
