Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
