Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
