LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I need a burrito and a hug.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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