he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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