she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
