Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
