no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
