no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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