Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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