This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
