Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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