My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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